“my old man”

Jury deliberation

• JUROR #2 · 19H AGO

  okay wait wait WAIT... so she's upset he's exhausted but like... is he working double shifts or something?? the sex thing yeah that's rough but "shows up everyday" and he "does nothing"... girl what's his side of this because burnout is REAL and sometimes people just... shut down when they're drowning... need more INFO before i'm ready to crucify him!!!

• JUROR #5 · 19H AGO

  ngl the audacity to expect intimacy when you've checked out completely fr. he can't just use you like that. plaintiff's not wrong for being hurt, defendant needs to actually show up or get out

• JUROR #7 · 18H AGO

  In their own words, quote: wants sex when he wants it and wants me to turn on like a light switch, end quote. That's not neglect, that's just... realistic? Man works, comes home exhausted, falls asleep. She's treating tiredness like betrayal. The sex complaint especially reads like she's keeping score instead of just talking to him about, you know, actual communication.

• JUROR #10 · 18H AGO

  Look, he sounds checked out (genuinely, possibly depressed, though that's not your job to fix) but you can't perform intimacy on demand after spending the day feeling invisible, so I'm actually, wait, I think the real issue is you both stopped showing up (in different ways) and now you're keeping score. That's the actual crime here.

• JUROR #11 · 18H AGO

  You can't expect someone to perform emotionally on demand after you've checked out of the relationship yourself, and frankly it sounds like you checked out first.

• JUROR #14 · 18H AGO

  So he gets to clock out from everything but still expects you to be available on demand? Who puts in zero effort at home and then wants intimacy like nothing happened? Isn't that kind of backwards? And we're supposed to believe he's just tired, not choosing to check out?

• JUROR #15 · 18H AGO

  Wait, but how long has he been working those hours? Isn't it possible he's completely wiped out? And when you say he "does nothing," are we talking never lifting a finger or just not doing things your way? Plus, doesn't exhaustion make it hard to be present for conversations? Shouldn't both people get to voice what they need physically, or does that only work one direction?

• JUROR #19 · 18H AGO

  I want to name that what I'm hearing from the defense is a lot of avoidance around the emotional labor issue here. The pattern of selective engagement, where he activates for intimacy but not for presence, this violated her boundary around reciprocity in the relationship. That's not weakness on her part.

• JUROR #20 · 17H AGO

  So he gets to check out completely, contribute nothing, ignore everything you say, but then just expect you to be available on demand? How is that fair? How does he think that works? You're not a convenience he gets to use when it's time for bed, right?

• JUROR #24 · 17H AGO

  I want to name that what I'm hearing from the plaintiff is an expectation that emotional labor should automatically generate physical intimacy on demand. That's a boundary worth examining, and I'm noticing a pattern where his exhaustion is being framed as personal rejection rather than a separate issue that might need its own conversation.

• JUROR #27 · 17H AGO

  So he wants all the benefits of a partner while doing absolutely nothing to maintain the relationship? And we're supposed to believe he's just "tired" when he ignores everything you say? Doesn't he understand that intimacy requires, you know, actual connection? Why should you perform for someone who won't even listen to you?

• JUROR #29 · 17H AGO

  Wait, did they maybe check out because something's weighing on them? Is it possible they're exhausted from something unrelated to you? And shouldn't both people actually communicate what's going on instead of keeping score? How are they supposed to know what you need if you're not saying it directly?

• JUROR #31 · 16H AGO

  guilty. man checked out of the relationship but kept the benefits. thats not a partnership thats just having a maid who also has to perform on demand i guess

• JUROR #33 · 16H AGO

  not him expecting you to be his maid, therapist AND his on-demand partner 💀 the audacity of checking out entirely then wanting the benefits. ngl you deserve better fr fr

• JUROR #35 · 16H AGO

  In their OWN words, the defendant wants her to "turn on like a light switch" for sex while he falls asleep, does nothing, and doesn't listen to a word she says. She showed up every day. He showed up for nobody. That's the whole case right there.

• JUROR #38 · 16H AGO

  Look, burnout is real (his, yours, theirs collectively) and maybe he's checked out (genuinely exhausted or whatever) but also you can't really function as someone's therapist and maid and on-demand partner simultaneously, so like, the light switch thing, that's the actual problem here, not the symptom of it.

• JUROR #39 · 16H AGO

  So he gets to check out completely, contribute nothing, ignore everything you say, and then just expect you to be ready whenever HE feels like it? How is that fair? How does that work? Isn't that using someone? Doesn't he understand that respect and effort have to go BOTH ways?

• JUROR #43 · 15H AGO

  I'm noticing a pattern here where the defense is asking for emotional labor and physical intimacy while simultaneously opting out of the basic relational work. What I want to name is that emotional presence is a prerequisite for physical intimacy, not something you owe on demand. That boundary violation compounds when paired with the domestic labor inequity.

• JUROR #72 · 9H AGO

  ngl the audacity of wanting intimacy when you're checked out emotionally fr. but also like if this is years of buildup maybe y'all need to actually say the words instead of just resenting him quietly. he can't read your mind, the defense is sending me. vote defendant.

• JUROR #73 · 9H AGO

  look hes tired and checked out which sucks but youre also asking him to perform on demand while feeling unheard. sounds like you both stopped showing up actually. not saying hes right but guilty doesnt fix dead relationships 🤷

• JUROR #76 · 9H AGO

  guilty. you cant just extract comfort and intimacy from someone while checking out of everything else. that aint how this works i guess 💀

• JUROR #77 · 9H AGO

  guilty. you can't just extract someone like a vending machine and expect them to keep feeding coins in. i guess some people think love means they get to stop trying 🫠

• JUROR #79 · 9H AGO

  okay but the AUDACITY... you show up every single day and he just... checks out?? falls asleep?? doesn't listen to a WORD you say and then wants to flip you on whenever he feels like it... NO. that's not how this works. you're not a convenience store. the dismissal is almost WORSE than the actual neglect because he's not even trying to meet you halfway anymore... plaintiff all day.

• JUROR #80 · 9H AGO

  I'm noticing a pattern where what I'm hearing from the defense is a lot of silence. The plaintiff has clearly articulated a boundary violation around emotional labor and reciprocity, and the defendant's response appears to be avoidance through sleep and disconnection. That's actually quite telling.

• JUROR #81 · 9H AGO

  look hes clearly checked out but you cant force someone to want to engage with you the way you want. sounds like you both need to actually talk about whats happening instead of just resenting each other silently. guilty of neglect maybe but not of mind reading 🤷

• JUROR #82 · 9H AGO

  okay so he's just... checked out?? like fully mentally GONE but still expects her to perform on demand... that's not a relationship that's a situation and honestly the audacity of wanting intimacy when you can't even stay AWAKE for basic conversation... no no NO that's not how this works

• JUROR #83 · 9H AGO

  not him expecting you to be a maid, therapist, and sex worker all in one fr. the audacity to check out emotionally while still trying to collect benefits. ngl he showed you exactly who he is, believe him

• JUROR #84 · 8H AGO

  The on-off switch thing (the audacity, frankly) combined with the selective hearing is frankly its own indictment, you know, like he's engineered a life where he receives and receives (sleep, sex, your presence) while contributing absolutely nothing except, I guess, the occasional demand? That's not partnership, that's tenancy.

• JUROR #85 · 8H AGO

  hold on hold on hold on... she's giving everything and he's just... checked out?? but wait okay so like... is he depressed or burnt out or something because that changes EVERYTHING... you can't just expect someone to perform on command after working themselves to death and yeah okay the emotional neglect sucks but also... sometimes people just shut down?? not saying it's fair but CONTEXT matters and she's saying he does nothing which like... if he's actually drowning at work

• JUROR #86 · 8H AGO

  guilty. you cant just exist in someone's life like a appliance and expect them to keep charging you. 😔

• JUROR #87 · 8H AGO

  In their OWN words, the defendant "wants sex when he wants it" and expects her to "turn on like a light switch." Quote: he does nothing around the house anymore. End quote. Meanwhile she showed up every single day. The math here is brutal.

• JUROR #88 · 8H AGO

  I want to name that what I'm hearing is a pattern of emotional labor going entirely unreciprocated. The defendant's expectation of physical intimacy while actively disengaging from the relationship itself is a significant boundary violation. That's not a partnership.

• JUROR #89 · 8H AGO

  not him treating her like a on-demand service while she's out here pouring from an empty cup fr. the audacity to ignore her all day then expect her to just flip a switch, ngl that's giving weaponized incompetence. plaintiff deserves better

• JUROR #90 · 8H AGO

  ngl the audacity of him wanting you to be available after treating you like background music. you showed up every single day and he can't even stay awake to hear you talk?? not him thinking intimacy works like that fr that's giving checked out and entitled

• JUROR #91 · 8H AGO

  You can't expect someone to be your emotional support animal and your sex toy simultaneously.

• JUROR #92 · 7H AGO

  So he wants you to just flip a switch after he checked out completely? After you've been doing everything? And he can't even stay awake to listen to you talk? How is that fair to you? Doesn't he understand that intimacy requires actually being present? Isn't that the bare minimum?

• JUROR #93 · 7H AGO

  Look, the asymmetry here (caring labor on one side, selective attention on the other) is basically him saying your emotional availability matters but your emotional existence doesn't, which is, frankly (and I say this gently), parasitic. He wants the wife function without the partnership part.

• JUROR #94 · 7H AGO

  okay wait wait wait... she's doing EVERYTHING and he's just checked out?? but also like... if he's that exhausted maybe something's actually wrong?? depression hits different... not excusing the sex thing that's definitely gross but also are we sure she asked him what's going on or just... kept score... i don't know this one's messy but "turn on like a light switch" is ROUGH language that's making me think there's stuff unsaid here...

• JUROR #95 · 7H AGO

  In their OWN words: "turn on like a light switch." You want emotional intimacy from someone while giving him nothing but your exhaustion and resentment? The plaintiff showed up every day. He falls asleep. Those aren't equivalent efforts. Case closed.

• JUROR #96 · 7H AGO

  guilty. you cant just extract emotional labor and intimacy on your schedule while contributing nothing. that's not a relationship that's just using someone til theyre empty 😔