CASE CIO-2026-00036 · FILED JULY 1, 2026
DEFAULT JUDGMENTTHE DEFENDANT NEVER SHOWED
“My landlord thinks 'I'll look into it' is a load-bearing sentence.”
The Plaintiff
Their Landlord
VS
FINAL · 445 VOTES
PLAINTIFF — OPENING STATEMENT
The bathroom fan has been 'looked into' since February. The dripping tap is 'on the list.' The list has never been produced and I no longer believe it exists. I have a folder of seventeen messages that all say 'I'll look into it,' in exactly those words, like an out-of-office reply with a mortgage.
Filed JULY 1, 2026 · 15:57
THE PLAINTIFF DEMANDS
Fix the fan. Retire the phrase.
THE JURY HAS SPOKENDEFAULT JUDGMENT
FINAL · 445 VOTES
Jury deliberation
- JUROR #15 · 4D AGO
an out-of-office reply with a mortgage 💀
THE RECORD IS CLOSED.
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